|
I want to offer you forgiveness. I want to offer to myself, as a gift, my forgiveness of you.
You wrote to ask me if there was ‘anything wrong.’ After months– years–of threats, tears, rage, abuse, and cruelty. Most recently there were the stories you told mutual friends: that your affair was of no consequence, that there was rot in our foundations, and she was the cure. That you had extended kindness, and patience, rather than lies and false accusations. After so much betrayal and dis- honesty — things I still cannot talk about, cannot recall, without weeping — after every vow has been broken, every promise, this —this– is your question? Here is my reply: I forgive you for the things you did to me and to yourself. What more, after all, is there left to do? |
 Forgiveness is not glossing over a problem or excusing it without consequences, or letting someone continue to treat you badly. It’s always important to first get out of a dangerous situation, such as a violent or abusive relationship. Forgiveness does not have to include reconciliation, where both sides work to create a healthy and peaceful ongoing relationship. Forgiveness is a personal decision to not allow anger, hurt and resentment to control your life, and to forgive someone who has wronged you, even if they don’t deserve it.Do One Thing for a Better World |
